


Heartbeats

by Hepzheba



Series: With Every Heartbeat [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, M/M, POV Derek, Past Abuse, Slow Build, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-24
Updated: 2014-02-24
Packaged: 2018-01-13 15:43:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1232029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hepzheba/pseuds/Hepzheba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sequel to Beat Heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heartbeats

Derek thinks he’s been quite good at hiding his _interest_ in Stiles. He kind of thinks that maybe Stiles likes him too, but they’re both good enough actors to hide it from the rest of the pack. Well, he thinks this until he and Scott talk about Stiles, and Derek realizes he’s just as crappy an actor as Laura always told him.

“He likes you, you know.”

There’s no uncertainty in Scott’s voice. Derek considers asking who Scott is talking about, but as they were talking about Stiles and his ex that would just be stupid and obvious. Derek settles for keeping quiet, inquiring with his eyebrows that he wants to know where this conversation is leading.

“And I know you like him, too,” Scott continues.

Derek considers denying this as well, but he doubts Scott will buy it. Scott knows him too well by now.

“What I don’t understand is why you won’t do anything about it,” Scott says. Derek sighs.

He doesn’t know how to explain it to Scott. He can barely even explain it to himself. All he knows is that he needs to wait, he needs Stiles to be ready and Stiles isn’t ready yet. Stiles is hurt and scared, even though Gordon’s in jail and there’s no way he’s stupid enough to search out Stiles when he gets out in a year’s time, because he knows the whole pack would have balls if he did. Derek understands that Stiles is scared of relationships, he probably understands this better than anyone because he’s been there too; he’s been used and mistreated by someone he trusted, by someone he once loved.

So he waits. Scott doesn’t understand this, but he doesn’t need to understand, he just needs to accept it. And Scott is awesome, so he does accept it, even if he’s frowning and looking confused. Derek claps his shoulder and that’s that.

Derek’s also scared that if he starts something with Stiles now, he will forever wonder if Stiles is really in love with him, or if he’s just latching on to the first person to protect him. Derek doesn’t want to be that person.

So he waits.

 

Stiles takes a break from college, it’s not that much left until summer anyway, he tells Derek. The rest of the pack is strewn across the country, but Derek makes sure to be available whenever Stiles needs him. Stiles goes to see a therapist. He doesn’t talk much about it, but sometimes he offers small pieces of information about it.

“Sometimes I get so angry at myself for falling for Gordon and moving in with him,” he tells Derek.

“Don’t blame yourself,” Derek says.

Stiles scoffs because his therapist has probably already told him this.

“I know the feeling,” Derek then offers and Stiles looks at him quizzically and then nods in understanding.

They then have their usual discussion about which action hero would win in a fight. When Stiles laughs later, Derek thinks his eyes are a little bit brighter and his smell a little bit less sour.

 

Derek goes to see a therapist as well. He doesn’t go to the same Stiles is going to, the desire to ask her about Stiles would be too great to resist.

It turns out Derek has _a lot_ of issues to discuss. Issues he wasn’t even aware of before the therapist started dissecting his life and he hopes that it will feel better when it’s all done and over with, but talking about his family, Laura and Peter; Kate and Jennifer; Boyd and Erica… it hurts.

The therapist is a druid so he doesn’t even need to tell her about being a werewolf. She notices it the moment he’s not able to step into her room because of the mountain ash barrier. She’s nice though, a kind of improvement from every other druid he’s known. Not all of them are prone to withhold information or go on killing sprees.

Sometimes after a session Derek just wants to curl up in bed and not talk to anyone. But sometimes he wants to hang out with someone without talking about anything. Scott doesn’t really understand this; he thinks the best way to deal with something that upsets you is to talk about it. Derek doesn’t want to talk about it again; he especially doesn’t want to talk about it with his friends because some things are too private to share with even the person closest to you.

Stiles understands though and doesn’t ask questions when Derek climbs into his window and four a.m. in the morning. Stiles doesn’t sleep much at night. Derek doesn’t know why and he doesn’t ask.

“I had a rough session,” Derek says, standing awkwardly by the window.

Stiles makes room for him on the bed and unplugs his headphones from the computer. He pats the bed and Derek sits down next to him, back against the headboard.

“They’ve just left Rivendell,” Stiles explains as he turns on the movie again. They watch the Fellowship of the Ring go through blizzards and mines and Derek falls asleep sometime when they are in Lothlórien with his head against Stiles’ shoulder.

 

In the fall Stiles doesn’t go back to Berkeley, but stays with his father, taking some online courses and works part-time in a bookstore. Derek eats dinner with him and John every Sunday and takes Stiles for lunch every Tuesday after Stiles’ shift at the store.

“I really don’t get the appeal of _Fifty Shades,_ ” Stiles says and Derek just hums in agreement. He’s heard this monologue from Stiles every time someone buys one of the books from the series and Derek can probably win an argument about why these books are no good even though he has never even seen the cover of them.

Their conversation (Stiles’ monologue) is interrupted by a blond guy coming up to their table.

“Are you two on a date?” he asks and Derek kind of wants to say yes because he doesn’t like the glint in the guy’s eyes.

“No,” Stiles says before Derek can even answer. The guy barely spares Stiles a glance.

“Good.” He scribbles a phone number onto a napkin on the table and with a leer shoves it towards Derek.

“Call me,” he says before he swags away (there’s no other word for it, he fucking _swags_!) Derek might have thrown up a little in his mouth. When he turns to Stiles to mock the guy, Stiles doesn’t look half as amused as Derek would have thought. He looks hesitant and his smell has gone sour, something Derek definitely hasn’t missed.

“Are you going to call him?” he asks. “He was quite hot.”

Derek crumples the napkin and throws it onto his finished plate. Stiles still looks kind of hesitant and Derek really doesn’t like that look on him.

“I’m not interested in him. Or anyone else,” Derek tells him pointedly, hoping that he doesn’t have to spell it out.

“Oh?” Stiles asks, but he looks slightly less sad now.

“I’m waiting for someone else.”

Stiles’ brows furrow and Derek continues, “he’s been through a lot so I’m waiting for him to get better, to get ready for a relationship.”

“What if he won’t?” Stiles’ voice is serious and he stares straight at Derek.

“He will.”

“What if you have to wait for a really long time?”

“Then I’ll wait.” Derek shrugs and a small smile tugs on Stiles’ lips.

“Okay,” he says and they sit in silence for a while before Stiles starts talking about the similarities and differences between Batman and Iron Man, all the while sporting that small smile on his lips. Derek can’t help but smile too.

 

It’s later that night when Stiles comes barging into Derek’s loft. He has long since stopped knocking and Derek is quite used to him just barging in. Stiles is rarely nervous though and Derek’s quickly on his feet, almost expecting a herd of harpies coming after Stiles. There’s no harpies though, only a harried-looking Stiles, who’s tugging his hair and not really meeting Derek’s eyes.

“Were you talking about me? Earlier when we had lunch. You said you were waiting for someone and I thought it was me and that made me really happy, but then I got home and did some thinking and you’re- I mean- You’re _you_ and I’m _me_ and why would you even-?”

“Yes, Stiles, I was talking about you,” Derek interrupts him, going for an exasperated but amused expression even though his heart is beating like mad.

Stiles stares at him, his mouth open.

“You were?”

“Yes, I was,” Derek says, more serious now.

“I- I’m still scared sometimes,” Stiles admits.

Derek nods, “I know.”

“I’m not- I might not be ready for- uhm- you know, sex in a while.”

Stiles blushes prettily and averts his eyes to the floor.

“Like I said,” Derek articulates and takes a step closer, “I can wait.”

“Oh.”

Stiles smiles and looks up at Derek through his long, dark lashes. Derek really wants to take the remaining step between them and kiss Stiles until neither of them can breathe, but he stays where he is.

“So, you wanna watch a movie?” Stiles asks and Derek rolls his eyes, the magic of the moment is broken.

“Go see if you find anything good,” Derek tells him, “I’ll make popcorn.”

 

Things go back to the way they used to be after that. Well, except for the fact that when they watch movies Stiles curls up against Derek’s side and leans his head against Derek’s shoulder and Derek forgets what movie they are even watching.

 

It’s a month later when Stiles raises his head from its place on Derek’s chest. They’re half-lying on the couch, watching some crime show on the TV. Stiles leans in close, so close Derek can feel his breath on his lips. He wants to lean forward, so, _so_ bad. He wants to kiss and claim Stiles and keep him there, but he doesn’t. He stays still as Stiles leans even closer and then Stiles finally – _finally!_ – leans in to erase those last inches between them. Stiles’ lips are soft and dry and just perfect. The kiss is chaste with not enough tongue and it’s over way too quickly. Stiles leans his forehead against Derek’s and exhales softly.

“I love you,” Derek surprises himself by whispering.

“Yeah,” Stiles says, coming in for a second kiss. “Me too.”

Derek risks sneaking his hand up Stiles’ back and Stiles lets him and leans in for yet another kiss.

“I love you,” Derek whispers again between kisses and he knows that if a werewolf was there and listened to his heartbeat they wouldn’t hear a single lie.

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thanks to [Beth](http://foreverblue-navy.tumblr.com/) for the beta.
> 
> This series is now complete and if you want to read my thoughts on this part, check out this post.


End file.
